231.03.29 | 16:18 p.m.
There she was, in the Slammer again. She couldn't believe it! How could this have happened? Why had she been so stupid to believe she could actually succeed? She let out a roar of frustration. She did not want to be trouble. All she wanted was getting out of this buggin' place. All she wanted was answers. But. No. One. Ever. Talked. To. Her! She roared again as she felt the wrath building up and boiling inside. She was so angry she could break something. Instead she kicked and pounded at the walls until she finally broke down. She was shaking all over, from anger and exhaustion.
Now a new feeling bore into her mind, rooting deep inside: she had totally messed it up. Everything. All chances to get in contact with the boys, to settle in. This was it. The end. Now suppressed sobs shook her whole body. She bit her lip. Hard, until she could taste the slightly metallic, salty taste of her own blood. But this was not enough. Driven by fury and frustration she bit her own arm, hard and deep, until she felt the pain. Felt anything at all again.
She couldn't do anything but obey all the orders and follow other people's rules. When she attempted to talk with the others about the Maze she was told to shut up. When she tried to find out things by herself she was put into the bloody slammer!
Nobody seemed to care for her the least bit. Well, maybe except Newt, but she wasn't sure there, neither. He'd been told to look after her, so he only fulfilled his duty. And anyway, he'd been really mad at her today, so she certainly had messed up that one, too.
She wouldn't fight it any more. Maybe one day she could escape into the Maze and be free.
Black and bitter thoughts filled her head and heart like scores of ravens, croaking and cawing and blocking out any light that had ever been there.
All hope lost, she huddled on the floor, slung her arms around her knees and hid her face.